Stressed Out?

Leave the chocolate cake alone!

By Angela Ash

Okay, it is probably safe at this point to admit that you are not exactly the poster child for easy living. You walk around the local shopping mall, looking at all of the seemingly care-free people around you, buying shoes without heels, eating cookies that you can’t eat if you wish to fit into that dress, and relaxing (what’s that?) for what seems to be a fortnight. These people have no worries, and neither did the occupants of the grocery store that afternoon, or the women in the hair salon last night. Goodness, even Alanis Morisette is happy these days!

These are supposed to be the most joyous moments of your life. This is the time when the sky is always blue and the grass is definitely the greenest on YOUR side of the fence. These are the mornings when you wake up before your alarm clock goes off. These are the afternoons when you say “What a beautiful day”, even when it is raining. These are the nights when you sleep straight through without needing a drink of water at 4 a.m.

So what is that anxious feeling in the pit of your stomach? Why does your head feel like it could roll off of your neck if you stand up? Why do you cry for absolutely no reason, like standing in the line at the makeup counter, waiting at a stop sign, or when the love of your life tells you that your hair looks nice?

These questions are very simple to answer, and can be done so with merely one six letter word (although I am quite certain that whoever invented this word should have left off two letters to make it a four letter word).

STRESS!

This is truly an evil word. It should be locked away in a closet with your freshman algebra teacher or made to dress like the munchkins in the Wizard of Oz. It should be poked at, prodded, and pushed ruthlessly away until it bows its head in defeat and retires to a cottage in the country.

OR you can defeat this villain by following these ideas to gain control over this special time in your life.

DON’T FORGET TO BREATHE!

This might sound somewhat silly, but think about it. For hundreds of thousands of years, people have been monitoring their breathing patterns to reduce stress and to gain more control over their bodies, their minds, and their spirits.

This exercise will teach you to relax through diaphragmatic breathing. When the diaphragm contracts, it creates a space in the chest causing air to fill it. When it expands, it forces this air out. When we are anxious or stressed, we may not use our lungs, since there is a tendency to alter our breathing. By filling the lungs completely with air, we are providing the maximum amount of air, allowing the brain to reduce the anxiety we may be feeling. At first, place your hand on your stomach to ensure that you are filling all of the lungs. It is also important to breathe in a specific way for this exercise. After you have done this exercise for a while, it will act as a signal to your brain that it is time to relax.

First, breathe in slowly through your nose for several minutes. Next, hold your breath for a second and breathe out slowly through your mouth for several seconds. This is a sort of “cleansing” of the mind. It is sort of like cleaning your closet. Think about this. When your closet is not organized, doesn’t it make it difficult to find your favorite pair of jeans in a hurry? It is precisely the same with your mind! If your mind is cluttered with things that you should release, then it is difficult to find the positive things in your head, which can create the feeling of happiness.

This deep breathing technique will also almost INSTANTLY calm your nerves. However, it is the actual focusing on something other than the negative issue at hand that I believe actually assists the most in promoting the removal of stress. So, you can even take that to another level.

Imagine a place in your head. Add as many details to it as you can. If you are in a forest, imagine the trees around you, the leaves beneath your feet, and the birds singing in the air overhead. You want to try to use as many of your senses as possible. Visualize this peaceful spot in your mind, and “go there” whenever you need to relax. This is a form of creative visualization or meditation. Just remember that we can alter our state of mind anytime we decide to.

The more that you practice this exercise, the easier it will become for you to relax. Different people have different experiences and different ideas of what is “peaceful”, so try to make the scenery as close to a place where you would actually desire to spend time. This will make the entire experience much more realistic. Envision yourself relaxed, and actually enjoying the planning of your wedding. The more you can actually “see” this in your head, the closer you will be to making it your reality.

Another great idea is to enroll in a yoga class. Many places offer yoga, as that its popularity has grown. If you do not wish to actually attend a class, there are several great videos and books out on the market. Yoga will help tone your entire body, as well as your mind… just what you need for the stressful planning ahead.

Namaste’!