As your wedding day rolls around, so many questions will come to mind. You will probably be in bed at night, tossing and turning, frantically trying to signal to your brain to shut off for the day.

Should the dresses be pink?
Should my sister be my maid-of-honor, or my best friend?
Should we really go Italian for the reception?
Should my brother really give that toast he has been practicing?
Should I bring an umbrella, just in case, even though it is bad luck?
Should I wear those stupid shoes that I spent $200.00 on?
Should I seriously go to Jamaica?

We could go on and on. The point is that most questions that plague you as you lead up to that special day are all a matter of personal opinion. There is no rule as to the color of your dresses, or one for who should or should not give a toast. And if there were such hidden, secret rules, who says that you must follow them? Aren’t rules made to be broken?

The thing to keep in mind is that this is YOUR wedding. YOU are the one getting married. YOU are the one vowing to spend the rest of your life with another person. YOU are the one who will most likely end up with wedding cake smeared in your hair.

As you mark off the days on the calendar, you will find that EVERYONE, and I DO mean EVERYONE, will have an opinion on what you should or should not do. People will begin to live vicariously through you, planning right along with you, and vividly imagining that you are taking their every word to heart, their every suggestion as a “must do”.

Could it get worse? What ARE the chances that any two people will offer the same advice, suggest the same colors, or think that the same flowers smell as sweetly? Not only will you have to make these important decisions, but you will have to decide how to tell all of these people that you aren’t really into yellow this year, or that you really haven’t always dreamed of honeymooning in Vietnam.

From lots of experience, I have found that the best way to do this is very truthfully, and right away! I once thought that, so as not to offend, one should listen with a very interested expression, and then agree that it is an absolutely FABULOUS idea. My thinking was that I was not ever implying that I would put the suggestion to use, but was merely agreeing that it was an excellent “thought”. Do NOT, I repeat, EVER do this when it comes to your wedding. People WILL take this as a “go ahead” to begin planning. And yes, they will buy things. They will buy and order things without a second thought, and they may sometimes even expect you to pay for these unwanted items. Like a nightmare that you just can’t seem to wake up from, I can still hear “I ordered those orange striped tablecloths that we talked about for only $300.00”.

To even imply that you may agree with an idea that you do not agree with is only asking for trouble. Remember this rule, and you should escape unscathed.

Everyone loves a wedding, and people also love to give advice, so your big day will stand as a beacon in the darkness, welcoming all sorts of ideas, thoughts and “little tips”. And there is nothing wrong with this, as long as you know when to say “yes” and when to say “no”.

It is very simple to listen appreciatively, but then to nicely explain that those plans have already been arranged.

On the bright side, you will most decidedly receive all sorts of helpful planning information from your family and friends, as well as the stranger behind you in line who happens to notice that you are buying a stack of bridal books.

As with anything, pick and choose what is right for you, and you can’t go wrong!